I can't sleep because I'm nauseous.
I'm nauseous because I haven't slept.
I'm angry and sad because it's a side effect of these pills.
I'm taking the pills because they're a side effect of being sick.
I'm sick of being angry and sad, angry because I'm sad, sad because I'm angry, and angry and sad because I'm sick.
Everything is mixing badly in my brain and body and it seems the only thing I'm fighting is myself.
I find myself unable to cope with having friends and having problems, because I don't want my friends to know about my problems, and am incapable of lying to them, yet I can't bring myself to tell them the truth. I despise the fact that they all know that I'm sick, and I despise them for dragging it out of me with what feels like the facade of actually caring.
I don't want you to know I'm not OK. I don't want you to know that my body's out of whack and I'm chugging down pills in some futile attempt to put it right again, and I definitely don't want you to know that they're making things worse, in some way.
Mostly though, I want you to do something other than drink and ask me why I'm not partaking in the joyous carefree drunk you're all having so much fun with. I'm sick and I'm angry and I don't want you to know I am.
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